Me...Self conscious...Definitely!!!

The last blog I published was just too long to write about Sunday night in Barre. So, Sunday night I rode with the Ziter family to Barre and expected that the service would be cool to go to. Also, I thought that it would be nice to hear a message from Bro. McAllister. And OH MY GOODNESS WAS I RIGHT. I REALLY ENJOYED BEING AT THE CHURCH IN BARRE!!!

People who were at the church were really there to have an awesome time during praise and worship! It was really nice to be able to go to another church and know many people who go to as well as visit our church. I found myself again in another position of wanting to join in on worship but choosing not to because of the fact that I am being TOO self conscious. This has to stop. I know that I am missing out on praise but mostly I'm missing out on a chance to build a stronger relationship with God. Sooner and hopefully not later I'll have to deal with that reality and things will be all good! Until then I'll have to work on getting over myself. That's going to be hard but It will be fun to blog about how that is going.

To Praise, Pray and Be Filled with the Holly Ghost or Not?

So, I'm back to blog so soon because I have been thinking about myself and my church. I really enjoy going to church, singing, having fellowship times and most of all when praying goes really well i love to pray. However, in the last few weeks i have become totally frustrated with not only the church but also myself. I am frustrated because it seems to me that lately everyone is spending the entire service sitting and singing with absolutely no emotion. What's up with that? BUT... I can't just blame the church members because I am just as guilty. After realizing that our church seemed dead, i thought about just getting up and praising anyway but NOT ONE TIME did I get up and really praise. Instead I thought about how I would be one of the only people standing, how silly I would look and then I began thinking of different comments that might be made or joked about. Now that I'm thinking about it THAT IS REALLY SAD. I know to worship and praise anyway but I didn't.
Then, last Sunday at church we had a really encouraging service. Okay, well truthfully pieces of the service were encouraging. People were standing and praising God and I was excited to feel a stronger presence of God around. Pastor then preached a message that was probably tough to swallow for some people but I found that to be encouraging as well. (If anyone from the church is reading this they are probably wondering what was so encouraging about that message?) Well, the answer is that It seemed like Pastor finally told the church that there is a problem and they NEED to start dealing with ALL things that don't support their relationship with God. It's about time that some people start praying!But...
Out of all of the people who really needed to pray and make things right, I DECIDED NOT TO pray. And I wonder why I have to listen to God's AUTHORITY spoken through messages and conversations with other church members. Really, I know that I need to push myself to deal with the reality that I have to read and pray regularly but instead I have continued to let prayer build up continually until prayer becomes necessary. In the past few days I have heard a prayer suggestion about waking up at 2:00 AM to pray or do some work so that I have time to pray. Honestly, I just don't think that waking myself up that early will work. Ask anyone who really knows me and they will tell you that I DO NOT AND I REPEAT I DO NOT... do well with being woken up, especially when I am still tired. Although, waking up tired doesn't seem like a very good idea and I have told a few people that it doesn't seem like such a great idea,I have been told that if I tried this and asked God for amazing sleep so that I wouldn't feel tired the following day... I would be surprised with the outcome. STILL I JUST DON'T KNOW BUT ... I will tell you that I'm considering it, just not this week. I'll continue to blog and let you know if I decide to wake up at that INSANE HOUR!

"To Be Slapped"

WOW...It has been such along time since I have posted but it's because I was fasting with the rest of our church("Great idea Pastor :)). Just kidding as much as i hate to fast it has not been as bad as i though. Now that i have permission to blog concerning church related issues i will post some more. Although, this post is short many things have been happening at our church. Not only did the Pastor go "crazy" but he is also continuing to be very truthful and clear in his messages. Oh, Boy it really stinks to hear the truth, have to think and pray about areas in your life that really rot. With a bunch of "Slaps in the face" during teachings at church i find myself using that "Bruise" to remind me that i am not so great. Most of all the "facial slaps" have reminded me to straighten up and get back onto the right path. I'm so glad that everytime Pastors preachings really seem to be hurting me that i have a God who i can walk and talk with! I am so glad to go to church and hear messages that are obviously for me! Many thanks to my Pastor and don't worry i'll continue to talk with you after you "Slap the church" with your messages.