What A Mess!

Right now I'm starting to blog at 1:47 am. and yes I know that this is crazy but there are some things that I just have to write. Over all areas of my life right now currently feel like a mess. What the heck is going on? I know that the bottom line is that the mess that is made I have created for myself, however I didn't intentionally make the mess. I am human and life happens but some of my responses to things life is throwing my way have not been very appropriate. I have been short in communicating with others and I have been getting frustrated and throwing around attitude in many directions. Sitting and reflecting on myself right now just feels bad. I'm supposed to go to church in the morning and talk with God but really God just needs to discipline me for my attitude and behavior. Every time I'm trying to do something good, it seems like it has the opposite affect. I've always considered myself to be a good person but through all of this I feel very rotten and just plain bad. I'm finding it hard to think about hanging around others when who care or be at church because the reality is how I feel right now is the opposite of what I should be thinking. Normally, I'm not easily offended but recently I have been taking too much to heart. As a result there are a few people who I need to apologize to. My hope is to try and turn things around so that my life is back on the right path. Meanwhile, I'm wondering if I should discontinue some extra works. Maybe I should stop trying to take a leadership role, give my ideas to another person and see the reality that maybe I should have never started pushing for something extra awesome to happen. For now I'm going to continue to work through this process which I have created and figure out through prayer what I am supposed to do?